🔗 Share this article

“Well, it’s rather brutal here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into preserved goods and firearms.” This nugget of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, articulate, bespectacled member of the oozy monster mob that infests Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in director Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s simply an investment tip from one monster to another. However, in a strange manner, it’s also pretty solid existential counsel. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.

When things go bad, the biggest mistake you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. In fact, the majority of the dentally-gifted beasts that occupy Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (possibly his finest) possess the same wry, meta sense of humour regarding the blurry line separating daily routine and pure pandemonium. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and the older I get, it’s the message that echoes the loudest.

An Early Life Fascination

Of course, my fondness for this movie did not begin on such an deeply thoughtful note. In my youth, we possessed merely a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its sequel, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box probably bought from an non-chain rental store and featuring growling monsters on its tattered front. I was right away smitten and these films quickly proceeded embedding themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. After that point, they became an near-everyday part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s first film commonly garners all the praise, thanks largely to its reputation as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its successor infrequently obtains the same level of elevated esteem, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d retreat into the house and stick it on. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. With repetition, it etched itself permanently in my psyche. If my parents observed this fixation, they didn’t seem to mind.

Deeper Delights and Pop-Culture Easter Eggs

As I got older, new revelations enhanced repeat viewings, heightening the enjoyment of watching little green monsters joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on future president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his one-time partner Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his genuine article inspiration.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was modeled after a real-life “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film varying versions of a self-referential segment where Gremlins seize control of the very film you’re watching. A version for theaters, one for VHS and TV, each delivering a smirking slice of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy prior to the concept being mainstream.

An Enduring Appeal

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this hidden treasure kept me hooked as an adult. Ultimately, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no qualms telling me he made the movie with the express purpose of poking fun at those who loved its silly-yet-sincere predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This anarchic defiance and determination to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only made me love it even more.

When I endured a sudden family bereavement not long ago, I was astonished to realize that, during my most profound sorrow, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Possibly not. The comforting familiarity it furnished was essential to thin out my mind’s sadness sludge – but the insights it had imparted to me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just can’t control. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: welcome the pandemonium, commit your entire being into canned food and shotguns and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s powerful existential guidance from a most improbable origin – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.